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In late June, 2026, a middle-aged couple went shopping one morning in a nearby bustling tourist town, ate lunch there and began the drive home. The husband pulled the car off to the side of the road, shot and killed his wife, then turned the gun on himself. Shortly afterward, a passing off-duty First Responder discovered the bodies in the car. The Sheriff’s department was called and a preliminary investigation determined that a murder-suicide had occurred. About a week later, after family members were notified, names were released to the public. Investigations continued to determine the cause for the shootings and to bring closure to the bereaved. True story.
A friend told me about the tragedy and it got me wondering if this shocking event is a frequent occurrence, and if so, why. Suicide has its own set of difficult motivating circumstances, but to bring someone else with you into the circle of sadness in this horrific way requires something more. Deeper. Compelling.
Research took me to Firearm Mortality Rates for 2024, gathered by The Johns Hopkins Center for Gun Violence Solutions. Their data cites “information from the Centers for Disease Control’s Underlying Cause of Death database,” which is widely recognized as “the most reliable national source of gun death data in the U.S.” 27,593 people died from gun suicide in the U.S., the highest number ever recorded. That works out to a gun suicide every 19 minutes.
The Trace (independent news organization reporting on gun violence) reveals that 95% of domestic murder-suicides occur with a man killing his female spouse before taking his own life. In addition, the data they analyzed showed that murder-suicide rates were at an historic high in 2025 among senior citizens 65 and older.
The Gun Violence Archive, which tracks shootings through police reports and public information, found “There were 679 gun-related murder-suicides in the United States in 2025. In 144 of them, or 21 percent, at least one victim or perpetrator was 65 or older.”
What’s the reason for this specific demographic choosing this method of ‘ending it all?’ It’s messy, after all. But…I don’t imagine that they are thinking of that aspect, just what made them do it.
The research seems to indicate these driving factors:
- Chronic, never-ending Illness – will the pain and suffering ever stop?
- Financial hardship – seemingly no way out of debt and nowhere to turn.
- Divorce on the horizon – if I can’t have you, nobody else can either.
- Interpersonal problems – can’t get away from the anger and abuse.
In our personal experience, Sheila and I listened to a full-time caregiver/ spouse who shared that she couldn’t stand to see her husband suffering anymore, had no help and too much to do. She was at her breaking point, until a family member stepped up and arranged for help at night so that the wife could get some much needed, regular sleep.
We have read that the media sometimes depicts murder-suicide among older married couples as mercy killings, in which one or both spouses are ill and choose to die rather than continue with what appears to be a bleak future. My sister, Bridget, knew an elderly couple who had chosen this path, declared their pact openly a few months beforehand when each was told of their Alzheimer’s diagnosis. They wanted to ‘go out’ before their awareness completely evaporated and they might be found wandering around, lost, not knowing who they were. Nobody believed them. Six months later, they were found dead at home during a police wellness check initiated by a neighbor who hadn’t seen them outside for a few days.
One Virginia couple’s (90 and 88 years old) lives came to an end when the husband chose to stop his wife’s suffering from advanced dementia, then turned the gun on himself.
“The Trace identified more than 20 couples who had been together for two decades or more before they died in a murder-suicide in 2025. Thirteen of them had been married for more than half a century.”
But murder-suicide events aren’t always mutual. If inheritance is involved and an ugly argument erupts over who’s going to get what and how much, anger can escalate to murder. Shock over what the shooter has done can cause him/her to be horrified, experience deep immediate regret, and take his own life in shame.
And, the cases aren’t exclusively limited to relatives. I read that in 2025, “a 66-year-old Ohio man killed his 68-year-old neighbor and then himself following a dispute over the victim mowing his lawn.”
Bottom line, behavior that points to taking a life, whether murder or suicide, or a combination of the two, signals profound mental and emotional stress. If you know anyone living through deep life trauma, please alert someone who can help change the situation for the better.
A suggested, related article: “Suicide”
Great read from Kerrian’s Notebook!