murder

KN, p. 152 “Murder in the Cathedral”

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I had an opportunity to travel to Montreal with Sheila recently and we stopped in at the Notre Dame Basilica. It’s a beautiful place, with amazing artwork, stained glass, and wood carvings throughout. And, it has lots of dark corners and shadowy spaces. And lots of places to hide a body if you had murderous thoughts on your mind.

Shocked at my bringing that up? You shouldn’t be…not if you read mysteries, follow British TV crime shows, and/or saw the play, “Becket” on Broadway.

The real-life murder of Thomas Becket, the Archbishop of Canterbury, during a service in Canterbury Cathedral back in 1170, may have been the basis for all the church related fictional depictions of murder that followed through the centuries. Becket and King Henry II had been in a power struggle for many years, until Henry felt the only way to stop Becket’s staunch refusal to follow orders was to get rid of him. While that heinous crime was committed at an altar and not in a shadowy part of the church, there were plenty of less public spots the deed could have been carried out. However, the soldiers were under the command of the king and therefore thought they were above the law, no matter who saw them do the deed. And there were witnesses.

Let’s take a look at the less public spots in any large church that has areas along the side for worship or for the display of religious artifacts.

NotreDame15HallwayDSC_0385The lighting in the photo has not been adjusted. It was so dark in that section that Sheila and I could not see who/what was in the alcove/hallway to the left of this side altar.

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In most churches lucky enough to have large organs, the choir/organ loft is rarely used by anyone except the organist. The choir rehearses elsewhere and only sits there during services. Access to the loft is usually isolated and there are several spots in the lofts themselves where the light barely reaches.

One of my favorite books in Margaret Truman’s series set in Washington, D.C., “Murder in the National Cathedral,” tells of a priest murdered in a chapel, unseen by anyone.

How is that possible in a place that has wide-open, public spaces, even if dark or shadowy? Wouldn’t the murder itself be heard? Truthfully, there just isn’t much of a staff hanging around in the sanctuary or side chapels except on service days. Any sound not amplified by a microphone is absorbed by wall hangings or carried away because of incredible acoustical design. The head and assistant priests, the music director, the church secretaries, the sexton, are all doing their jobs during the day – elsewhere. At the end of the workday, they all go home like the rest of us. It’s only cathedrals and basilicas that have crowds walking through them all day long every day. And even then, with all the nooks and crannies, all the isolated hallways, all the out-of-the-way chapels and alcoves, the likelihood of a bad guy getting away is only limited by locked doors.

Most churches can become deliciously wicked places that handily serve as backdrops for murder – oh, not your place of worship, of course. 😉 And, most assuredly, not the Basilica. I merely used the photos I took as a way of pointing out the fictional possibilities.

If for some reason, you’ve never read the Cadfael novels, watched “Father Brown,” or read the DaVinci Code books, you should. Murder within the walls of a religious institution? Murder solved by a seminary-educated man, who has been steeped in the rules and moral codes of God, and is likely to be more forgiving than any law enforcement officer might be? The story ideas practically fill the pews.

Consider the concepts of these books/shows:

“Brother Cadfael” – A Benedictine monk from the 12th century, serves as medical examiner, detective, and doctor for the Abbot and puts his knowledge of herbs and science to use when solving crimes. Set in west England and based on mysteries written by Edith Pargeter (aka Ellis Peters), it is widely felt to be historically accurate.

“DaVinci Code” – The wildly successful book by Dan Brown (and subsequent movie) is a murder mystery involving a religious conspiracy that reaches back to the time of Christ. In real-life, it was extremely controversial among the religious community. 80 million copies of the book were sold in 2009.

“Father Brown” – A Roman Catholic priest solves crimes in his parish in the Cotswolds. Most often, the murders are committed in the town, but there have been leaps from the church’s roof and deaths in the local Seminary. Set in the post WW2 1950s of England, the TV series is based on G.K. Chesterson’s short stories.

Have you ever visited a spooky church? Met a crime-solving priest? Let us know in the comments.

*Photos taken by Patti Phillips

 

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KN, p. 150 “30 More Ways to Die an Unnatural Death”

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In March, 2014, in celebration of the 100th page on www.kerriansnotebook.com, I published “100 Ways to Die an Unnatural Death.” It quickly became the most widely read post on the site, and stayed at the top for the rest of the year. Professional writers used the list as a reference and fans of the crime/mystery genre searched the list for new (to them) odd ways that people die. Check out the list here.

There were so many responses and suggestions that by June, 2014, we had enough ideas to publish “50 More Ways to Die an Unnatural Death.” That post finished in the Top Ten for most popular posts of the year. Read that list here.

This is the 150th post for Kerrian’s Notebook, and 150 posts is worthy of recognition in keeping with what the Kerrian fans have come to look for.

You might ask, “Are there really more than 150 ways to die an unnatural death?” Oh, yes, indeed.

Thanks to contributions from readers all over the globe, we have 30 additions to the list. All of these scenarios could happen to somebody, somewhere, sad to say. Some are fictional setups based on actual events, some cases were plain bad luck, some were as a result of Mother Nature’s fury, some as a result of deadly intent. Whatever the reason? Dead is dead.

Shovels, pitchforks, and rugs at the ready, please. 😉

 

151. House collapses during demolition with person inside

152. Person swept away in a flood

 

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153. Water intoxication – you really can drink too much water – from Lori Ryan (www.loriryanromance.com)

154. Drowning – Poet kissed reflection of moon in water before falling overboard.

155. Death by crushed Tylenol in a mincemeat pie – from Ruth McCarty (www.ruthmccarty.com)

156. Death by shooting in a court case – lawyer maintained that a shooting victim could have shot himself while drawing his own gun, demonstrated same, and killed himself. He won the case.

157. Death from starvation – while wife was hospitalized, husband refused to eat anything that wasn’t prepared by her.

158. Death by Segway – owner of the company lost control of his Segway and went off a cliff.

159. Trip over your own beard

160. Choke on dog food – from Jessica Pettengill Messinger

 

161. Inhaled manure fumes – father & son in Iowa

162. Choked on scarf – caught in dirt bike chain

163. Choked on scarf – caught on the wheel of car in which she (Isadora Duncan) was a passenger

164. Fall off balcony – second floor outside balcony under renovation, floor not finished. Person walks out in the middle of night, forgetting there is no floor, and falls to death between the headers. Credit to Rob & Bobbi Mumm who thought it was a great setup for a murder mystery. Really, both of them are alive and well. 😉

165. Fall off balcony – while fending off wild monkeys (list25.com)

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 166. Death by carrot juice overdose – 10 gallons in 10 days

 167. Collision of car and deer. Both driver and deer die.

 168. Elephant steps on vehicle and occupant is crushed

 169. Trampled by horse during polo match

 170. Kicked in the head by a cow

 

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  171. Killed by African lion

  172. Attacked and killed by own dog

  173. Killed by a hippo

  174. Dying of laughter after watching donkey eat figs (list25.com)

  175. Killed by a robot arm in a factory (list25.com)

  176. Crushed by falling whale

  177. Death by soup injection

  178. Death by too much bungee cord in a bungee jump

  179. Stabbed with a screwdriver – Phillips head, to be specific

  180. Overdose of aerosol deodorant – sprayed all over body twice a day

 

There you have it!

Be careful out there and apparently, be especially careful when you are close to hippos! They kill about 200 people every year! Hmmm…getting an idea for a story…

 

 

*Photos by Patti Phillips

 

 

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KN, p. 148 “Is that a body under the deck?”

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I was taking the recycles out to the bin and my leg went through one of the planks in the deck. Nothing was damaged except the plank. Well, maybe a scrape on my shin, but not much else. This was the second plank I had gone through – and replaced – in a week, so it was time to get the whole deck redone.

Normally I would replace the thing myself, but my doc said no heavy lifting while I was finishing up the rehab. So I got my former construction partner on the line and gave him the job. He owed me a favor so we agreed on parts + a percentage for labor. Basically I paid for the lumber and the salary for his helper for the day. He would not agree to my paying him for his own labor, but I twisted his arm with the promise of having his family over for a couple of barbecues once the deck was finished.

Sheila and I have had a snake problem under the deck ever since we built the raised garden beds surrounding it. We inadvertently blocked off any runoff and the critters soon had their own swampy little place to live, full of food, shelter and water. They’ve been happy, but us? Not so much.

Since Todd was pulling out all the boards, it was the perfect time to level the ground below, then dig a small drainage trench about three inches wide at the edge so that the accidental pond could empty. After the water ran off, the sun dried out the exposed dirt and for the first time in a couple of years, the frogs/toads were off to greener, damper grassland.

The next step was to put a layer of small stones on top of the leveled dirt. That definitely changed the animal habitat. Without the artificial pond, and no food source that we could see, we hoped that the snakes would be gone as well. Foolishly, we didn’t have all the facts, but that’s for another story.

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As I watched Todd and his helper work, I got to thinking that the mini pond wasn’t deep enough to hide a body. The unbelievably rank smell of a corpse rotting in the summer would have been a dead giveaway if I had one lying around, but now there was gravel… and digging….

If I was inclined to do this deck myself, nobody could see me in back of the house and passersby would think nothing of shovels and lumber and gravel and even cement coming in and out of the yard. And Bingo! Hiding place for the body. Who would notice a bag or two of quicklime? The neighbors would be none the wiser.

Hmmm…come to think of it….Milly’s husband has been away on a business trip for a really long time and they have a new patio and a new deck and new, high, lush landscaping around it all. Just kidding. Maybe.

If you think nobody would really do that, take a look at these stories in the news.

In April, 2014:

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/dead-body-found-easter-egg-hunt-knoxville-backyard-article-1.1760574

and, in May, 2015:

www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2015/05/30/body-missing-worcester-man-discovered-buried-under-deck-rhode-island-home/o9w4eeRjlaV1y5JgybmzpM/story.html

As for us? We’re both healthy and enjoying the new deck.  🙂

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*Photos by Patti Phillips

 

 

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