Kerrian’sNotebook

If there are no paragraph separations in this article, please double-click on the title and they will appear.  🙂

The Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) is an agency responsible for driver’s licenses and vehicle registration in the USA.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I returned to the DMV for the 4th time in two weeks, scared off in the first three attempts by the insanely long lines outside the agency that had struck terror into the hearts of so many before me. It was a small satellite office, so I had hoped to see no lines at all. HA!!! I am ever the optimist.

My birthday was a month away, but with rumored paperwork delays, it seemed prudent to take care of my license renewal sooner rather than later. This time I planned to stay all day and ‘get it done,’ prepared with a lawn chair and plenty of water. I arrived at 7:45am during the newly created early walk-in time, waiting outside with the rest of the early birds. An hour later, an agent came out to check the paperwork of the 40+ people, sending some home to get the ‘right stuff.’ Ten people entered, joining the 5am arrivals already inside.

At 10am, all except for five people entered the building and were given numbers, then told to go for coffee or wait in our cars until we received a text to come back. I drove out of the sun-drenched parking lot for a bit to get out of the record-breaking June heat, but returned when an apologetic text gave the impression that I was about to be called. HA! No actual call came until 1pm. Five hours in the heat/blistering car is not as much fun as you might think without a pool and a tall frosty beverage nearby. Death by heat stroke was a real possibility for some in the group, and in fact an ambulance had been called a few days before, for that very reason.

At 1pm, I received THE TEXT, inviting me to sit in the air-conditioned lobby. By this time, ‘our group’ was trading life stories and tales of woe. We cheered when somebody actually made it to the counter. At 2:30pm, a well-dressed gal with son glued to his cellphone walked in. Her goal? Get him into a driving test in a hurry. The man at the desk gestured in our direction and politely mentioned that she/he could not go ahead of all those people who had been waiting since morning. He knew we hung on his every word.

She slowly turned and noticed the thirty of us watching and listening to the exchange. She asked us, disbelief on her face, “Have you all really been here since this morning?” We nodded and answered in concert, “YES.” There might have been a lynching on the premises if she had not sensed the murderous tension directed toward her. She said not another word and left, son still glued to the screen.

The minutes ticked by, with lunches cancelled and Friday afternoon plans on hold. Sleeping bags anyone? Camping out seemed possible as the hour hand moved closer to 3pm. THEN, at 3pm, my number was announced. It took less than fifteen minutes to get an eye test, have my supporting documents checked, sign three forms, answer questions about the veracity of my documents, write the check, and gather my temporary license.

Seven hours to get that fifteen minute job done? Pass the chocolate and lots of it.

Lest you think that waiting that long is unusual in this day and age of online digital transactions, think again. Many States allow on-line renewal, which I had done five years before. However, lots happens in ten years to trigger the need for a new photo ID. When you factor in the government requirement for us to have a Real ID for certain travel within the USA, the lines get longer and the paperwork stack for proving we are who we say we are, seems to multiply.

Each State has its own rules and regulations, but the complaints are the same just about everywhere.

Long Wait Times: I waited for 7 hours that day. In some sections of the country, rumors have mentioned overnight waits, complete with sleeping bags and tents, in order to ‘be first’ in line and not have to miss an entire day of work.

Poorly Trained Staff: our staff members were great, but there have been rumors of badly behaved and ill informed workers elsewhere.

Frustrating Document Requirements: Complaints about restrictive documents puzzle me. The agency has rules which are easily found on the DMV website. The required list is clear, and ‘cheat sheets’ are available. Can’t figure out the list on your own? Ask for help. 

Unexpected Problems: Some people don’t bring the correct documents and/or glitches in the computerized system cause delays or complications. 

Why does merely saying “the DMV” evoke groans?

The DMV handles a tremendous number of transactions daily, including driver’s license renewals, vehicle registrations, title transfers, and more, with an estimated combined total of ten million or more handled a year in my State alone. Budget cuts lead to a shortage of trained employees who can handle the work, as well as closures of smaller satellite offices. Waiting outside in extreme weather because of insufficient staff/inside space can make even the most patient people a bit testy. If I need to visit again, I might take a tasty snack.

* The Kerrians are a fictional couple, but the stories in this article are true.

For entertainment purposes only. Any actual violence within a Federal or State facility can lead to big fines and/or jail time.