Kerrian’sNotebook

KN, p. 333 “Dying at the DMV”

If there are no paragraph separations in this article, please double-click on the title and they will appear.  🙂

The Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) is an agency responsible for driver’s licenses and vehicle registration in the USA.

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I returned to the DMV for the 4th time in two weeks, scared off in the first three attempts by the insanely long lines outside the agency that had struck terror into the hearts of so many before me. It was a small satellite office, so I had hoped to see no lines at all. HA!!! I am ever the optimist.

My birthday was a month away, but with rumored paperwork delays, it seemed prudent to take care of my license renewal sooner rather than later. This time I planned to stay all day and ‘get it done,’ prepared with a lawn chair and plenty of water. I arrived at 7:45am during the newly created early walk-in time, waiting outside with the rest of the early birds. An hour later, an agent came out to check the paperwork of the 40+ people, sending some home to get the ‘right stuff.’ Ten people entered, joining the 5am arrivals already inside.

At 10am, all except for five people entered the building and were given numbers, then told to go for coffee or wait in our cars until we received a text to come back. I drove out of the sun-drenched parking lot for a bit to get out of the record-breaking June heat, but returned when an apologetic text gave the impression that I was about to be called. HA! No actual call came until 1pm. Five hours in the heat/blistering car is not as much fun as you might think without a pool and a tall frosty beverage nearby. Death by heat stroke was a real possibility for some in the group, and in fact an ambulance had been called a few days before, for that very reason.

At 1pm, I received THE TEXT, inviting me to sit in the air-conditioned lobby. By this time, ‘our group’ was trading life stories and tales of woe. We cheered when somebody actually made it to the counter. At 2:30pm, a well-dressed gal with son glued to his cellphone walked in. Her goal? Get him into a driving test in a hurry. The man at the desk gestured in our direction and politely mentioned that she/he could not go ahead of all those people who had been waiting since morning. He knew we hung on his every word.

She slowly turned and noticed the thirty of us watching and listening to the exchange. She asked us, disbelief on her face, “Have you all really been here since this morning?” We nodded and answered in concert, “YES.” There might have been a lynching on the premises if she had not sensed the murderous tension directed toward her. She said not another word and left, son still glued to the screen.

The minutes ticked by, with lunches cancelled and Friday afternoon plans on hold. Sleeping bags anyone? Camping out seemed possible as the hour hand moved closer to 3pm. THEN, at 3pm, my number was announced. It took less than fifteen minutes to get an eye test, have my supporting documents checked, sign three forms, answer questions about the veracity of my documents, write the check, and gather my temporary license.

Seven hours to get that fifteen minute job done? Pass the chocolate and lots of it.

Lest you think that waiting that long is unusual in this day and age of online digital transactions, think again. Many States allow on-line renewal, which I had done five years before. However, lots happens in ten years to trigger the need for a new photo ID. When you factor in the government requirement for us to have a Real ID for certain travel within the USA, the lines get longer and the paperwork stack for proving we are who we say we are, seems to multiply.

 

Each State has its own rules and regulations, but the complaints are the same just about everywhere.

Long Wait Times: I waited for 7 hours that day. In some sections of the country, rumors have mentioned overnight waits, complete with sleeping bags and tents, in order to ‘be first’ in line and not have to miss an entire day of work.

Poorly Trained Staff: our staff members were great, but there have been rumors of badly behaved and ill informed workers elsewhere.

Frustrating Document Requirements: Complaints about restrictive documents puzzle me. The agency has rules which are easily found on the DMV website. The required list is clear, and ‘cheat sheets’ are available. Can’t figure out the list on your own? Ask for help. 

Unexpected Problems: Some people don’t bring the correct documents and/or glitches in the computerized system cause delays or complications. 

Why does merely saying “the DMV” evoke groans?

The DMV handles a tremendous number of transactions daily, including driver’s license renewals, vehicle registrations, title transfers, and more, with an estimated combined total of ten million or more handled a year in my State alone. Budget cuts lead to a shortage of trained employees who can handle the work, as well as closures of smaller satellite offices. Waiting outside in extreme weather because of insufficient staff/inside space can make even the most patient people a bit testy. If I need to visit again, I might take a tasty snack.

* The Kerrians are a fictional couple, but the stories in this article are true.

For entertainment purposes only. Any actual violence within a Federal or State facility can lead to big fines and/or jail time.  

 

 

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KN, p. 299 “Happy 11th Anniversary!”

In 2010, I finished writing a novel featuring Charlie and Sheila Kerrian as a dedicated police detective and his equally dedicated educator wife. I also wrote a few articles in 2010 developing back story for the happily married couple experiencing life while Charlie recovered from an on-the-job-injury. He had time on his hands between rehab sessions, so he kept a notebook while he looked into crimes in the greater NY area and opened up about their lives in general.

 

I did this as a marketing tool to get the word out about the book and was delighted when readers asked for more. While attending Writers’ Police Academy that year, I was encouraged to start a website and put the articles out there to a wider audience. The book was never published (very long story) but more than 300 posts later, we are celebrating eleven years of Kerrian’s Notebook, with an international audience that happily keeps growing.

 

Along the way, I had a slew of requests for the posts to be combined into books, and Kerrian’s Notebook, Volumes 1 & 2 were created. Find them on Amazon, in e-book form.

Kerrian’s Notebook, Volume 1

Kerrian’s Notebook, Volume 2

 

Here are the ten most popular posts from the eleven years, as decided by you and all the readers around the world. You are a mix of law enforcement officers, professional writers, and civilians who love to read the behind the scenes info found on KN. Click on the titles to read the posts again or enjoy them for the very first time.

 

#10 – What Does a Texas Ranger Do?

 

#9 – How Big Is That Jail Cell?

 

#8 – CSI Techs – What Is That Smell?

 

#7 – What Does A Firefighter Wear?

 

#6 – The Stokes Basket Rescue Method

 

#5 – Underwater Evidence and Body Recovery: Lakes and Bodies of Water

 

#4 – What Happens in an Ambulance?

 

#3 – How Many Bodies at the Scene?

 

#2 – 100 Ways to Die an Unnatural Death

 

#1 – How to Become a Texas Ranger

 

Here’s some great news to begin year #12:

 

There will be a special Anniversary Drawing in honor of sharing eleven years of fun, facts, and a few dead bodies. If you’re a subscriber to the newsletter, details will be included in the next one. If not a subscriber, sign up now and be eligible to win a mystery, novel of suspense, or thriller.

 

Thank you one and all! I couldn’t have done it without your fabulous comments,  suggestions, and continuing readership.

 

Stay tuned for the next Kerrian’s Notebook.   🙂

 

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KN, p. 285 “Top Ten New Posts 2021”

Thanks to the thousands of Kerrian’s Notebook readers who have spoken! Here are the Readers’ Choice Top Ten new posts for 2021. Read them for the first time or enjoy them again.  🙂

#10  “Tomato Basil Chicken Soup”

 

#9  “Was It Medical Malpractice?”

#8  “Hurricane Season Opened June 1st”

 

#7  “About the Bats”

#6  “Recovery Times for On the Job Injuries”

#5  “Visiting Detective Kylee Kane – HOA Murder”

#4  “Chicken Pot Pie”

#3  “The Impact of Weather on Guns and Bullets”

#2  “Pumpkin Pecan Cheesecake Bars”

and the most read new post in 2021 was:


Visiting Detective Quinn Sterling

Here’s to a great 2022 and Happy Sleuthing!

 

 

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