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An elderly family member passed away during last year’s holiday season and while searching through several funeral websites for information, I found out more than I expected. Nationwide stats and reasons for death are mixed in with casket choices and names of local florists.
Did you know that murder and violent crime can increase during the holidays? The underlying reasons listed below are a compilation from several different funeral home websites across the country, not limited to the South or Northeast where I have lived.
- People tend to drink more at the holidays: Getting drunk can lead to dumb decisions, fights, and more deadly DUIs than at non-holiday times.
- Tensions are higher: Not everyone is full of joy and laughter at the holidays. Reminders of disappointing or difficult previous holidays can trigger emotional reactions. In some cases, this can result in domestic violence against spouses or children.
- Money troubles: It’s tough to enjoy the non-stop commercial display of excess on every corner when money is scarce during the holidays. Not being able to afford the glitz can give rise to an overwhelming feeling of failure. Theft and robbery of goods/money by desperate people can result in deadly force to protect those items.
- Too much to do: Full-time jobs and party planning create conflict when the work falls to one person to do all the cooking, cleaning, decorating, and shopping before the events. Some people snap under the pressure and nothing good comes from that. Heart attacks, strokes, food binges, increased drinking – can all be elevated to an unhealthy level.
- Too tired to do it all: There are only 24 hours in a day and just because we need more time to get all the prep done doesn’t mean we can change the clocks. BUT, being tired causes problems on the highway, at work, and on the holiday itself. Sleeplessness can lead to poor judgment and poor reaction time while driving, leading to lost tempers and more accidents. Research by insurance companies indicates that exhaustion on the road has the same result as being drunk.
Soooooo…. What can we do to prevent all that from happening to the people in our circles?
Drinking and driving don’t mix, so consider taking a taxi to your destination and home again. Or choose a designated driver in your group before the event, who will be willing to stay completely alcohol free during the event. YIKES stat: The weeks between turkey day and December 31st are when drinking is at an all-time high.
Avoiding stress is nearly impossible, so consider making a doable plan that paces the day and includes time in the gym or a massage or quiet time with a cup of tea and a book. WAIT-WHAT? Doesn’t that take time away from the tasks already on the list and even add to them? Sheila and I have each tried the quiet time scenario with no phones or TV on in the background. It’s amazing what 15 minutes away from ‘the list’ will do to increase focus and refresh the brain.
Money, money, money. We all need it but sometimes the money runs out before the month does. Even in a money-tight year, we tend to want the same celebrations as before, but that’s not realistic or practical. To keep from bouncing the credit cards at the holidays, use the old decorations, get a smaller tree, buy one or two presents for each other instead of five. Consider hand-made gifts, or gifts of chores around the house, or books, or performances for each other (Check out “The Twelve Days of Christmas”). Stay away from the high-priced hot-ticket items in the stores. Make a budget that realistically assesses what you can afford to spend and keep track of what you’re spending. When the money runs out, it’s gone, so spend thoughtfully.
To-Do List. There is not one single person I know who wants to do ALL the work while the spouse or children are on their phones or watching TV. The Resentment Meter can go off the charts and lead to work strikes in the kitchen and one or two murderous thoughts. The routine that Sheila and I have devised through the years is workable for anyone. We sit down a week or two before the event and make a list of everything that needs to be done, including the shopping, meal-planning, cooking, cleaning, special circumstances, decorations, gifts, setup, invitations, and transportation. We divide the responsibilities according to time needed and skill level required with a haggle here and there over the details. Flexibility is key. HINT: getting the kids involved in the list goes a long way to develop their sense of family participation.
Toooo Tired! Multiple gatherings can wear a person out and if adults don’t get at least six hours of sleep a night they put themselves at risk for heart attacks or strokes. Or car accidents. Or unfounded anger. If you’re exhausted, consider having a short nap. Less than half an hour in a dark, quiet room can refresh your brain and attitude.
Slow down and take a step back from the potential chaos. Above all, remember the Reason for the Season and enjoy it. The life you save may be your own.
