bodies

KN, p. 196 “Bodies on the Golf Course”

 

When golfers are sidelined because of rain or sleet or snow or as in my case, the flu, our minds start dreaming of everything we have ever done around a course. I’ve been honking and coughing for weeks, so it’s been waaaay too long since I stood anywhere near a green. On the plus side, the Golf Channel has been on for 24 hours straight and I am getting some great tips on improving my short game. Choking up on the 9-iron might give me an edge. But, it’s me after all, and I started thinking about bodies on the course.

 

I’ve maintained that hiding a body on a course is not all that easy, because there is a lot of foot traffic from dawn to dusk, whether it’s the players themselves or groundskeepers in charge of maintaining the fairways, the greens, and the deep rough/woods next to the fairways.

 

In September of 2016, a woman was heard arguing with her boyfriend at 5 a.m., was dragged away, then driven to a golf course in the Chicago area and left there. Her body was found a little after 8 a.m. and the boyfriend was charged a few days later.

 

 

Then, in October, 2016, a body was found in a pond near a fairway at the Seven Bridges Golf Club in Illinois. It was golfers who discovered the body of the 29-year-old man, so they were probably looking for a lost ball. Imagine that surprise!
A Fire Dive Rescue Team recovered the body, and the police decided that there was no foul play involved. That made me think of all the times I’ve played near water hazards and was tempted to go in after a ball that didn’t quite make it across the lily pads. I always opted for keeping my feet dry and left the ball to the ducks unless I could see the little white orb right at the edge. What could have made the guy go in far enough to lose his footing and drown?

 

 

Private and/or public courses are not the only places bodies pop up. In January, 2017, a 50-year-old man’s body was found in the water at the Cypress Lakes Golf Course, which is operated by the 60th Force Support Squadron at Travis Air Force Base. Another non-suspicious death, but seriously, how expensive was that golf ball?

 

 

All these bodies had been discovered within a few days of the person’s death. But with this next case from February, 2017, the remains had been there since 2005. Twelve years of nobody tripping over a young man who had committed suicide? He was found next to the second fairway at a Columbus, Ohio, Golf and Country Club.

 

Danny Sanders was a senior at Worthington Kilbourne High School when he left his house in February, 2005 and he wasn’t reported missing for 10 days. When asked why they waited so long, the family thought that he had just taken off somewhere. Then three months later, the father discovered that his handgun was missing.

 

What’s even more tragic was that Danny’s body was found about 100 yards away from the family’s house, 30 yards into some woods and heavy brush off the fairway. At least the family has closure. In this case, I have to concede that it was unlikely that the body would have been discovered any sooner, since most guys/gals won’t bother looking for a ball that far off the fairway. My guess is that the heavy brush will disappear soon.

 

Interested in finding out more about two of the cases? Check out these links:

 

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/ct-boyfriend-charged-in-slaying-of-woman-found-at-golf-course-20161001-story.html

 

http://nbc4i.com/2017/02/06/human-remains-discovered-near-northwest-columbus-golf-course/

 

 

Stay out of the water hazards and stay safe on the golf course!

 

*Kerrian is a fictional character, but the bodies on the golf courses were real.

 

*Photo by Patti Phillips

 

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KN, p. 116 “Cemetery at the Golf Course”

 

 

I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that most of you have never played golf above a cemetery. Maybe you’ve walked past a golf course and seen how peaceful the landscape is, with its beautiful trees and manicured expanse of grass and/or been lucky enough to play a round on it. Maybe you’ve visited old cemeteries and been struck by the size of the property.  But, combining the two uses of grassy knolls is unusual.

 

Occasionally I play a round at a local public course that sits right next to a very crowded small cemetery. The 7th hole runs along the edge of an older section of grave sites and while separated by a row of tall shrubbery, errant golf balls do fly through the gaps in foliage.

 

 

Do lost golf balls plopping on the graves bother the forever-resting occupants? Do golfers leave the wayward balls to the dearly departed, so that no footsteps ever fall on the burial ground?  I know a few guys who see the little white sphere traveling above the headstones and take out another golf ball right away. No attempt to retrieve said lost ball. They take a mulligan for the shot and play on. If a little kid sat behind the bushes and tossed the ball back from the cemetery (while staying hidden) I think the guys might run off the course and never return.  😉

 

Recently, in Chastain Park (Atlanta, Georgia) it was discovered that a section of the golf course actually sits right above an old potter’s field graveyard.

 

Watch the video here:

https://www.wsbtv.com/news/local/dozens-graves-discovered-under-chastain-park-golf-/138124636/ 


There is a possibility that wildflowers will be planted on the turf above the graves, allowing the permanent residents some peace and a bit of respect they might not have had in a forgotten potter’s field. There is no plan to disturb the graves.

 

 

Just in case you think it’s weird to combine a golf course with a cemetery, however accidental, here’s a bit of insider golfer information:

 

Many, and I mean MANY, avid golfers would love to have their ashes spread on their favorite golf course, and have even picked out the hole upon which they’d like to spend eternity. Maybe it’s the hole with a great view of the countryside; maybe it’s the place where they first hit a hole-in-one or won a bet. I’ve yet to sink a hole-in-one, so my choice would be somewhere around the green with a great view.

 

There are so many of these dedicated players all over the world that some large golf courses have regulations specifically dealing with the issue:

 

–      what day of the week the scattering is permitted

–      fees that may be required in order to gain access

–      who is allowed to do the scattering (a company that specializes in this event or the actual grieving person)

–      where on the course the ashes can ‘rest’

 

Why do the powers-that-be care? Cremated remains are not all like small grains of sand. In the mix are pieces of bone, irregular in shape, unless they’ve been ground after cremation. Soooo…while the golf course managers may permit the scattering, they might have a concern about people dumping an urn full of ashes into a sand trap or on a tee box or (gasp) anywhere on a green.

 

Do you have a relative that wants to overlook the 8th green in perpetuity? Tell him/her to look into the policies at the chosen resting place. And tell him/her to figure out who is supposed to do the scattering. And what to do if there’s snow on the ground. Uncle Joe or Aunt Mae may have to wait a bit on somebody’s mantle until the spot at the golf course is ready for occupancy.

 

For a bit more information about the graves under Chastain Park, click on the link.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/dozens-graves-found-beneath-atlanta-golf-article-1.1806260

 

 

*Photos by Patti Phillips

 

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KN, p. 150 “30 More Ways to Die an Unnatural Death”

 

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In March, 2014, in celebration of the 100th page on www.kerriansnotebook.com, I published “100 Ways to Die an Unnatural Death.” It quickly became the most widely read post on the site, and stayed at the top for the rest of the year. Professional writers used the list as a reference and fans of the crime/mystery genre searched the list for new (to them) odd ways that people die. Check out the list here.

 

There were so many responses and suggestions that by June, 2014, we had enough ideas to publish “50 More Ways to Die an Unnatural Death.” That post finished in the Top Ten for most popular posts of the year. Read that list here.

 

This is the 150th post for Kerrian’s Notebook, and 150 posts is worthy of recognition in keeping with what the Kerrian fans have come to look for.

 

You might ask, “Are there really more than 150 ways to die an unnatural death?” Oh, yes, indeed.

 

Thanks to contributions from readers all over the globe, we have 30 additions to the list. All of these scenarios could happen to somebody, somewhere, sad to say. Some are fictional setups based on actual events, some cases were plain bad luck, some were as a result of Mother Nature’s fury, some as a result of deadly intent. Whatever the reason? Dead is dead.

 

Shovels, pitchforks, and rugs at the ready, please. 😉

 

151. House collapses during demolition with person inside

 

152. Person swept away in a flood

 

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153. Water intoxication – you really can drink too much water – from Lori Ryan (www.loriryanromance.com)

 

154. Drowning – Poet kissed reflection of moon in water before falling overboard.

 

155. Death by crushed Tylenol in a mincemeat pie – from Ruth McCarty (www.ruthmccarty.com)

 

156. Death by shooting in a court case – lawyer maintained that a shooting victim could have shot himself while drawing his own gun, demonstrated same, and killed himself. He won the case.

 

157. Death from starvation – while wife was hospitalized, husband refused to eat anything that wasn’t prepared by her.

 

158. Death by Segway – owner of the company lost control of his Segway and went off a cliff.

 

159. Trip over your own beard

 

160. Choke on dog food – from Jessica Pettengill Messinger

 

161. Inhaled manure fumes – father & son in Iowa

 

162. Choked on scarf – caught in dirt bike chain

 

163. Choked on scarf – caught on the wheel of car in which she (Isadora Duncan) was a passenger

 

164. Fall off balcony – second floor outside balcony under renovation, floor not finished. Person walks out in the middle of night, forgetting there is no floor, and falls to death between the headers. Credit to Rob & Bobbi Mumm who thought it was a great setup for a murder mystery. Really, both of them are alive and well. 😉

 

165. Fall off balcony – while fending off wild monkeys (list25.com)

 

 

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 166. Death by carrot juice overdose – 10 gallons in 10 days

 167. Collision of car and deer. Both driver and deer die.

 168. Elephant steps on vehicle and occupant is crushed

 169. Trampled by horse during polo match

 170. Kicked in the head by a cow

 

 

 

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  171. Killed by African lion

  172. Attacked and killed by own dog

  173. Killed by a hippo

  174. Dying of laughter after watching donkey eat figs (list25.com)

  175. Killed by a robot arm in a factory (list25.com)

  176. Crushed by falling whale

  177. Death by soup injection

  178. Death by too much bungee cord in a bungee jump

  179. Stabbed with a screwdriver – Phillips head, to be specific

  180. Overdose of aerosol deodorant – sprayed all over body twice a day

 

There you have it!

 

Be careful out there and apparently, be especially careful when you are close to hippos! They kill about 200 people every year! Hmmm…getting an idea for a story…

 

 

*Photos by Patti Phillips

 

 

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