For Writers

KN, p. 192 “Deadly Poisons in the House”

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Sheila and I have been watching an Australian murder/mystery series that recently included poison as a method of getting rid of one of the characters. An interesting case that hinged on who had access to the poison in question.

Mystery writers quite often use poison as a way to dispatch the victims in their books. Famed Agatha Christie used poison in several of her 66 novels, on 30 victims. Christie’s choices were based on what she needed to happen in the plot; did the poison have to be fast-acting or was it important to give the killer time to get away?

In “What poisons were in Agatha Christie’s books?” I listed a few of her favorite dastardly tools of death, but one of the critical aspects of choosing the correct one was its availability to the murderer.  🙂

Arsenic, belladonna, cyanide, etc. may be handy for a pharmacist or a chemist or a doctor, as in the Australian show, but what about the ordinary gal (poison is traditionally a woman’s choice) who wants to do somebody in? It’s not as if a housewife would normally have access to cyanide. Some medications would make you woozy or extremely nauseous if you overdosed, but over-the-counter meds are rarely going to kill someone unless a bucketful is consumed – unless an allergy is involved. There are some exceptions to that, but most will not do the job without some devious planning and execution.

So, what is a revenge-focused lay person to do? Assuming of course, that the fictional person is motivated, would have the guts to actually kill someone, and is not squeamish about the cleanup. Dead bodies are messy and hard to drag around.

We all have cleaning supplies readily available in the house or garage, so let’s take a look.

Bleach This is a fairly common household item used to remove stains from clothing or to kill surface bacteria. It’s well-known to be powerful as a cleaning agent and once upon a time, I poured too much into the machine when I was helping Sheila with the white wash. The shirts basically disintegrated and the ones that didn’t, smelled of bleach forever after. It would be impossible to get this smell past a victim’s nose, so it couldn’t be used in any subtle way.

 

Ammonia is often used to clean windows and is contained in many popular products in a diluted form. The ammonia smell is distinctive and too strong to be pleasant without perfume additives. Used straight out of the ammonia vat? It would burn the skin off your hands while you pass out from the fumes.

Remember, our housewife wants to get away with murder, not die while she’s carrying out the dastardly deed.

BUT, when these two cleaners (even diluted in the pleasantly scented store products) are mixed together they produce a lethal chlorine gas. If the products have been poured into non-descript spray bottles, the scenario might be to ‘accidentally’ mix up the labels and get the potential victim to help with cleaning after a messy spill in a closed space while the housewife leaves the room. The trick would be to switch the labels back before the cops arrive. Variations of this smelly method might involve cleaning a toilet with one of the clear liquids already in the toilet. After adding the other liquid, the noxious gas would suddenly waft upward toward the victim’s face.

Hydrogen peroxide is used as an anti-bacterial agent and some people even use it when gargling or for cleaning small cuts or abrasions.

White vinegar is used in cooking and in many restaurants as a gentle, yet effective, solution for shining the stainless steel.

BUT, when hydrogen peroxide and vinegar are mixed together, they create an acid, which can be quite harmful to the lungs. Harmful, but not necessarily deadly in small quantities.

Dishwasher detergents contain chlorine in highly concentrated amounts, but it’s hard to imagine how you could get an adult to ingest detergent willingly. Perhaps mixed in food? I wonder if it would foam while cooking…

Air Fresheners – Most air fresheners include formaldehyde which interferes with your ability to smell and phenol which can cause convulsions, coma, and even death in high enough concentrations and quantities. However, this amount would also kill our housewife while she worked with it.

Oven Cleaner contains lye (sodium hydroxide). A little bit of lye is used in old-fashioned soap compounds; too much of the stuff can dissolve skin off the bone.

Our housewife might just be better off to find out what food her victim is allergic to, then mix that with a tasty treat to be served at the next get-together. The invitation could read:
“Tea at 4pm. Body Doggie bags will be provided.”

 

The next time you look at the warning labels on the cleaning products, keep these real-life guidelines in mind:

DANGER: can be fatal if swallowed. Less than a teaspoon could kill a 150-pound adult.

WARNING: is harmful if swallowed, and drinking less than an ounce could kill an average sized adult.

CAUTION: is harmful if swallowed, and it would take anywhere from an ounce to a pint to kill an average adult.

 

http://www.achooallergy.com/blog/dangerous-household-chemicals/

 

*Please note: this article is posted for entertainment purposes only.

 

 

 

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KN, p. 125 “Elections and Voter Fraud”

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In the USA, 34 states as well as the District of Columbia open the polls for early voting, usually for about ten days before the official Election Day. Here are some facts about elections and the occasional crime and misdeeds surrounding them.

Is individual voter fraud committed during modern day elections? The League of Women Voters helps out at the polls in order to verify eligible voter ID, but in some areas where there are lots of voters and not enough help, errors are occasionally made, but this is not fraud. Every once in a while we hear a case about someone stuffing the ballot box or voting in place of a dead person, but that’s incredibly rare. Between 2002 and 2005 there were only 5 multiple voting cases prosecuted, and the DOJ convicted only 86 cases of ‘improper voting’ – nationwide. That’s way less than 1% of the total votes for that period of time, but election officials do make improvements as infractions occur.

There are serious penalties involved, because at both the federal and state level, there are big fines ($10,000 for each incident) and jail time (up to ten years in Texas).  Great motivation for folks to stay honest when at the voting booth.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/five-myths-about-voter-fraud/2011/10/04/gIQAkjoYTL_story.html

Can elections be ‘rigged’ by a candidate because of the way we vote? Many parts of the country have voting machines that have curtains that close behind the voter as they enter – they are about the size of a department store dressing room and nobody can see what the voter has chosen.

The voter walks into the booth and pulls a three-foot lever to close the curtain. As the voter presses small levers next to the candidate names, votes are noted by the machine. When the curtain is opened by moving the big lever, all the votes are recorded. After the polling place closes, a polling official notes the count (the number of people who have used the machine, not the actual votes) that has been registered on the back of each machine. That final count is verified for each machine by officials from each party. But, machines break down, and the count comes under question as well as the individual votes, not because of fraud, but because of mechanical failure.

Other parts of the country use what can only be described as open-sided cardboard boxes that sit on desks. The voter stands in front of the box, records the votes on a paper ballot, and if he/she is tall enough, can see whatever the neighboring voter has chosen on his/her ballot. Not sure who to vote for? Check your neighbor’s answers. Those boxes are merely a nod to privacy during the voting process.

Paper ballots are still hand counted in many parts of the country, allowing for human error to come into play. Ballots stick together, counting doesn’t start until late into the evening, vision gets blurry when hundreds or even thousands of ballots need to be checked and rechecked at 3am.

In some states, completed ballots are handed directly to polling place officials; in others, a wooden box with a slot in the top is available. Sis voted in a room in Texas that had a big open bucket for the completed ballots because the wooden boxes were full. My North Carolina cousin used a paper ballot that had bar codes at the top. When he was done voting, he slid that paper into an electronic box that grabbed it like an ATM machine and recorded it. He assumes that someone emptied the box periodically, because he said it was only the size of his home printer. Where are those ballots kept during the many days of early voting? They are collected and locked up.

While there have been changes made to the ‘booth’ over the years, the scandal involving the style of ballot itself during a Presidential election, resulted in court cases that went on for months. Remember the ‘chad’ recount in Florida in 2000? Bush was elected, but Gore supporters declared foul.

http://cseweb.ucsd.edu/~goguen/courses/275f00/abc-chads.html

Throughout most political campaigns during my voting life (more years than I’d like to admit) there has been mud slinging from all sides, some campaigns more vicious than others, some better funded than others, some making up ‘facts’ about the other side.

As we get closer to Election Day, some of the nasty rhetoric has been scaled back, but if you believed everything being said, the ballot would look like this:

 

Then there are the authentic candidate scandals that rock our sensibilities. Sexual indiscretions, illegal drugs, corruption – the stuff worthy of an expose – all brought to our attention so that we can ‘throw the bums out’ or ‘keep the bums out.’ In these days of instant media coverage it’s hard to imagine why/how a sitting government official or a potential candidate thinks they can get away with some of the stuff we hear about. The thing is, we have to sort through the junk in the ads and figure out what is true and what is merely a vicious smear campaign. Just because the info is on the internet or in a TV ad, doesn’t make it true. Fact checking with three or more non-affiliated sources might help.

An article in the Washington Post (October, 2016) points out some of the problems with accusations about voter fraud and election rigging:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/10/29/is-this-proof-of-voter-fraud-or-election-rigging-a-user-guide/

What does entertainment media have to say?

Hollywood does not always look upon Election Day with favor, perhaps because there are so many colorful candidates, hot button issues, and actual scandals that just beg for a great script. Here are five popular election themed movies:

 

The Candidate (1972) – candidate has no hope of winning, and he’s in the race so that he can speak up about the issues. But, his ideas resonate with the voters and he wins.

http://www.nytimes.com/movie/review?res=9807E6DA1F3EE63BBC4850DFB0668389669EDE 

All the President’s Men (1976)- based on investigative journalism concerning the real-life Nixon/Watergate scandal that eventually caused the downfall of the administration. People went to jail as a result of the illegal activities uncovered.

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/all-the-presidents-men-at-40/

Wag the Dog (1997)- dark comedy involving a Presidential sex scandal about to be exposed the day before election, and a fake war staged to distract the voters.

http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/wag-the-dog-1998

Swing Vote (2008)-  ‘every vote counts’ taken to its extreme. Some say, conceptually based on the actual Humphrey/Nixon 1968 Presidential campaign, where the voting was so close that one more vote in each precinct nationwide might have changed the result.

http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/swing-vote-2008

Ides of March (2011)- a look at the inner workings of a state level campaign, and how staffers create the media image of a candidate, sometimes with terrible results. Integrity in politics is explored. http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/theidesofmarch/

 

If reading about elections interests you, any bookstore will have several non-fiction titles written by the campaigners themselves, most notably Presidential contenders and winners. At this time of year? They’re probably on display near the front of the store.

Whatever your party, whatever your ‘hot button’ issue, whomever your favorite candidate – get out there and vote. If you suspect irregularities at your polling place, report the problem to the entity in your state that oversees elections – either the Secretary of State or the State Board of Elections.

If you think that it’s time to ‘throw the bums out,’ then vote. It’s the only way to change the status quo. In my opinion, if you don’t vote, you don’t have a right to complain about the outcome. Thank goodness there are plenty of honest, good-hearted candidates that want to serve. They need your vote to make and/or support good programs for your community.

Then, after you vote, thank a veteran. They helped protect our right to continue to do so in this great, free country in which we live.

 

*Ballot design by Patti Phillips. No actual wombats were listed on Kerrian’s ballot.

 

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KN, p. 154 “Murder at the Conference”

 

Kerriansnotebook_FINAL copy

Kerrian’s Notebook has been around for a couple of years and because it’s mostly about law enforcement and crime, Sheila and I got invited to a mystery writers’ convention. We had no idea what to expect, but we were promised a good time.

Lots of professionals go to conferences every year. Even cops. Why do we go?

1) to catch up on the latest investigative gadgets available.

2) to debate the pros and cons of emerging trends that need addressing.

3) to network.

In between the sessions, we rub elbows with colleagues we haven’t seen for a while, meet new people who have done interesting things in their departments, and share our most outrageous cases with a few pals at the bar.

We knew the mystery writers wouldn’t be dull and boring, but what could they possibly talk about for four whole days?

SinC logo

Murder, that’s what. The who, what, where, why, and how of murder(s) on the printed page.

A few of the writers found out that I was a cop and bought us drinks and dinners – ok lots of drinks – while we chatted about crime, the problems with the CSI Effect, and the smartest criminals we had ever met. Best of all were the brainstorming sessions. They proposed scenarios for future books and I either shot them down because of the realities of available manpower and equipment or told them about similar cases where their ideas copied actual situations.

Just for fun, think of the possibilities at the conference itself. Soooo many chances to do someone in. Consider…

 

Scenario 1:

Your roommate snores like a buzz saw on steroids, so you are driven to:

Suffocate/strangle her in the hotel room and then distract the cops from you and your sleep deprived motive by stealing her cell phone, laptop, and wallet. You have been in the bar talking with colleagues at the general time of death in order to establish your alibi. You get sloshed enough to establish that you didn’t notice the non-breathing when you returned to the room. You ‘discover’ that she is dead in the morning when she doesn’t get up for breakfast. The hotel switches rooms for you while the investigation continues and you can finally get some sleep.

If for some reason, you can’t dispose of the electronics right away, at least turn them off and check out the hallway swap table for a temporary stashing spot. Doesn’t that black table skirt just beg to be used as a hiding place?

BlackTableclothIMG_4475

Scenario 2:

Your agent schedules a meeting to tell you that the royalty checks are delayed again, the publisher may not renew, but you can’t write for anyone else for a year AND everyone else except you will still get a piece of your hard earned pie. Since you have a binding contract with the agent for another five years, you go bonkers and:

Inject a poison into her neck in the elevator or put poison in her drinks at lunch. Neither scenario requires disposal of the body because you just walk away from the scene. Premeditation might come into play if you’re caught, since you probably have to bring the poison with you to the conference. Disposal of the syringe or eyedropper requires stealth, and a public garbage can.

WBeerWineIMG_4513_2-2

Note the colors of the liquids and the types. All are opaque. The glass reflects the images nearby, making it even harder to see what’s really inside. If the intended target sticks to water or white wine, you’ll need to use a different method.

Left to right: Extra stout, Cabernet Sauvignon, alcoholic mocha cappuccino, draught beer. All have strong flavors; the better to hide the poison. Brand names missing to avoid being sued.

 

Scenario 3:

The Keystone family reunion is being held in the same hotel as the mystery conference. Uncle Harry has cut his children out of the will. The kids see that the banquet for the writers is next door to the family banquet room. They enlist the help of a hungry writer for a hefty fee. The writer sets up the how and where, the kids do the deed and the writer finally has a paycheck in his pocket without having to share a dime.

 

Gotta say, writers’ conferences are a blast. 😉

 

Photos 1, 3 & 4 taken by Patti Phillips.

 

 

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