For Writers – Page 23 – Kerrian's Notebook

Oct 14 2016

KN, p. 154 “Murder at the Conference”

October 14, 2016

Kerrian’s Notebook has been around for a couple of years and because it’s mostly about law enforcement and crime, Sheila and I got invited to a mystery writers’ convention. We had no idea what to expect, but we were promised a good time.

Lots of professionals go to conferences every year. Even cops. Why do we go?

1) to catch up on the latest investigative gadgets available.

2) to debate the pros and cons of emerging trends that need addressing.

3) to network.

In between the sessions, we rub elbows with colleagues we haven’t seen for a while, meet new people who have done interesting things in their departments, and share our most outrageous cases with a few pals at the bar.

We knew the mystery writers wouldn’t be dull and boring, but what could they possibly talk about for four whole days?

Murder, that’s what. The who, what, where, why, and how of murder(s) on the printed page.

A few of the writers found out that I was a cop and bought us drinks and dinners – ok lots of drinks – while we chatted about crime, the problems with the CSI Effect, and the smartest criminals we had ever met. Best of all were the brainstorming sessions. They proposed scenarios for future books and I either shot them down because of the realities of available manpower and equipment or told them about similar cases where their ideas copied actual situations.

Just for fun, think of the possibilities at the conference itself. Soooo many chances to do someone in. Consider…

Scenario 1:

Your roommate snores like a buzz saw on steroids, so you are driven to:

Suffocate/strangle her in the hotel room and then distract the cops from you and your sleep deprived motive by stealing her cell phone, laptop, and wallet. You have been in the bar talking with colleagues at the general time of death in order to establish your alibi. You get sloshed enough to establish that you didn’t notice the non-breathing when you returned to the room. You ‘discover’ that she is dead in the morning when she doesn’t get up for breakfast. The hotel switches rooms for you while the investigation continues and you can finally get some sleep.

If for some reason, you can’t dispose of the electronics right away, at least turn them off and check out the hallway swap table for a temporary stashing spot. Doesn’t that black table skirt just beg to be used as a hiding place?

Scenario 2:

Your agent schedules a meeting to tell you that the royalty checks are delayed again, the publisher may not renew, but you can’t write for anyone else for a year AND everyone else except you will still get a piece of your hard earned pie. Since you have a binding contract with the agent for another five years, you go bonkers and:

Inject a poison into her neck in the elevator or put poison in her drinks at lunch. Neither scenario requires disposal of the body because you just walk away from the scene. Premeditation might come into play if you’re caught, since you probably have to bring the poison with you to the conference. Disposal of the syringe or eyedropper requires stealth, and a public garbage can.

Note the colors of the liquids and the types. All are opaque. The glass reflects the images nearby, making it even harder to see what’s really inside. If the intended target sticks to water or white wine, you’ll need to use a different method.

Left to right: Extra stout, Cabernet Sauvignon, alcoholic mocha cappuccino, draught beer. All have strong flavors; the better to hide the poison. Brand names missing to avoid being sued.

Scenario 3:

The Keystone family reunion is being held in the same hotel as the mystery conference. Uncle Harry has cut his children out of the will. The kids see that the banquet for the writers is next door to the family banquet room. They enlist the help of a hungry writer for a hefty fee. The writer sets up the how and where, the kids do the deed and the writer finally has a paycheck in his pocket without having to share a dime.

Gotta say, writers’ conferences are a blast. 😉

Photos 1, 3 & 4 taken by Patti Phillips.

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Sep 28 2016

KN, p. 181 “Is there a body in that suitcase?”

September 28, 2016

TV shows and movies have long used the ‘put-the-body-in-the-suitcase’ mode of hiding a body when someone dies in a nefarious way during a vacation. But is it realistic? Could it really be done?

If we set aside the smell factor (bodies start to stink within 24 hours if left unrefrigerated) corpses need to be hidden while they are still flexible and ‘stuffable.’ Rigor mortis (post-mortem stiffening of the body) sets in fairly quickly, so any book or TV show that shows the body being stuffed into a container in the first hour or so after death, is probably fairly accurate in that detail. Cold temperatures slow down the rate of rigor mortis and warm temperatures speed it up, so the surrounding environment plays a big factor in how speedy the corpse disposal must be.

Bodies are bulky and have those inconvenient limbs that don’t want to stay where they are put. In “Is that a body in the rug?” I chatted about why carrying a body around in a rug is a dumb idea. Waaay too many things can go wrong.

So, what to do? If the evildoer needs to move the body away from the scene of the crime in order to allow him/her to establish an alibi, a large container with wheels might be a solution. A laundry cart would fill the bill in a limited way if the victim died in a hotel, but what if the murderer wants to get the body out of the building?

The photo above shows my travel golf bag with a man standing next to it. As you can see, it’s not really long enough for stowing a grown man’s body, even though it looks like it should be when seen rolling through an airport. I tried getting into it, scrunching down, bending my knees, holding my arms tightly to my body, but nope. Not long enough even though I’m less than six feet tall. Maybe for somebody shorter?

Season #4 of the popular TV show, “Longmire,” included an episode featuring a body found on the side of the road in a large duffle bag after a tour bus had left the scene. There was an assumption that it had been inadvertently forgotten after a highway traffic accident. Until somebody tried to lift the bag. And then looked inside. Ooops.

Bodies are waaay heavier than can be handled by normal luggage seen in department stores. I did find a company online that makes six-foot long duffel bags complete with heavy duty stitching and zippers – important for those times when something other than tent poles would be in the bag.

Would it be possible to send the body by commercial airline? Aside from the logistical problems of getting the body to the airport and the smell factor – who would carry it, etc. – commercial airline restrictions limit baggage to 50 pounds each. Some airlines (not all) will allow overage in some cases for an extra fee, but that’s at the discretion of the agents at the airport and/or requires special permission. If the flight is fully booked, an agent will check the cargo weight before takeoff and leave bags behind if the safety weight limit for the total cargo has been reached. My mother asked me once how I could manage carrying my travel golf bag (filled with the clubs as well as golf clothes, shoes, gloves, and golf balls). First of all, the bag has wheels, and the clubs themselves weigh less than 25 pounds.

And then there is the size restriction and no airline employee can fudge on that without someone in the baggage chain questioning an extra-large bag. Remember, baggage handlers have to pick these bags up and hand load them onto baggage movers. The upper limit on size is 72” – that’s a combination of the length, width and height measurements. The 6’ duffle would be long enough for the average adult, but it doesn’t take into account the width of the bag or height, thereby eliminating it from travel by commercial flight without those special fees and permissions. Plus, most duffles don’t come with wheels.

The “Longmire” body was that of a petite young woman, so she fit easily into a six-foot duffle. The gal probably weighed about 100-120 pounds, but there were no wheels attached to the bag. How did the murderer remove the fully packed bag from the crime scene? No spoiler here, but he/she had to have help, even with the handles on the bag. The use of the tour bus as the would-be mode of transportation was believable, since the fully loaded duffle would never have made it through all the security checks on a commercial airline, even a cargo flight. Kudos to “Longmire” for realism.

Having said all that, as one advertisement said, you need a bag that “will carry you through any situation or season.”

For all around ease of use (wheels, size) a trunk probably is the best choice. And, they’re even on sale right now at some locations. Kidding. 😉

But, as a long-term way of establishing an alibi? Face it, you’re gonna get caught. Moving large duffles or trunks? Somebody is going to see you do it and remember it. After all, it’s not a bag of groceries.

*Note: no bodies were found in any of the suitcases or trunks we used for research.

**Further note: this information is for entertainment purposes only. Seriously.

***Photos by Patti Phillips

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May 25 2016

KN, p. 171 “Visit to Antietam”

May 25, 2016

We are a military family and in honor of those who served, Sheila and I have visited several battlefields/military cemeteries in recent years. The 2016 destination? Antietam – a Civil War battlefield in Maryland named after the creek in Sharpsburg.

The night before the Battle of Antietam was to begin in the farming town, soldiers gathered in the woods behind Dunker Church. On September 17, 1862, Generals Robert E. Lee (Confederate) and George McClellan (Union) made their stands, determined to break (or hold) the Union front.

Antietam is remembered not only for its political importance, but also for being the bloodiest single day in American military history. About 23,000 souls (out of combined forces of about 100,000) were either killed, wounded or lost – a quarter of the area soldiers were out of commission, a devastating toll.

A film shown at the Antietam Visitor’s Center revealed that the battle itself was the result of accidentally acquired information about Lee’s plans, but some say that the incredible losses were the result of poorly formed battle strategy on both sides. Communication between the generals was spotty and at times, the enlisted men took things into their own hands after their officers were cut down.

The Sunken Road was the center of intense fighting for several hours and when the outnumbered Confederate forces were finally surrounded and killed, hundreds of bodies lay piled high throughout the length of what came to be called Bloody Lane.

Burnside Bridge changed hands several times during the day. Whoever held the high ground was able to see the enemy approach and could easily pick the soldiers off, one by one.

Eye witness accounts in letters reveal that often, single lines of men walked straight into the fire of the opposition, with little or no cover. Small groups continued to be picked off and there were so many bullets flying that it was hard to keep out of the way.

Nestled in a rolling valley in Maryland, today’s landscape is peaceful, beautiful – devoid of any signs of war except for the occasional statue or monument to the sacrifices of the brave men that lost their lives almost 154 years ago. Those rolling hills created several areas of high ground for the 500 cannons employed effectively by both sides.

Cannon with New York Monument in background

That restful view belies the actual aftermath of the Battle. So many men were wounded

that every building for miles around – school, home, business, barn – was used as a hospital. Never before had battlefield medicine been so severely tested. While the U.S. Sanitary Commission had been established the year before to help with distribution of supplies to hospitals, the aide was stretched beyond its limits.

The Sharpsburg region was devastated by the battle, racked by death and disease, stripped of food and supplies by both armies, and transformed forever by the impact of the fighting. Many local civilians lost their homes and farms to the combat and were never compensated by either side for that loss and destruction, despite their loyalty to the cause.

Clara Barton, who would later form the Red Cross, gave aid to soldiers from both sides and eventually organized the practice of giving assistance to civilians after natural disasters.

Neither side was a clear winner at the end of the day, but when the out manned and under supplied Confederates retreated back into Virginia, the Union counted it as a victory and Lincoln was able to use that as a bargaining chip to push the preliminary Emancipation Proclamation forward.

September 18, 1862 was a day that both sides gathered and tried to bury the dead, but

it took days to bury the 3,500 bodies. Union soldiers were re-buried in the area now known as Antietam National Cemetery, while Confederate soldiers were ultimately buried in local graveyards.

For more information about Antietam, the battlefield, and the museum, please visit:

https://www.nps.gov/anti/planyourvisit/hours.htm

http://www.civilwar.org/battlefields/antietam.html

https://www.nps.gov/anti/index.htm

http://www.npr.org/2012/09/17/161248814/antietam-a-savage-day-in-american-history

https://www.nps.gov/anti/learn/historyculture/arty.htm

Our visit to Antietam was a sobering experience; the exhibits pointing out so clearly the terrible price that both soldiers and civilians pay for the freedoms we enjoy. If you truly want to understand the importance of what transpired at Antietam on September 17, 1862, read up on it. Better yet, take time to visit the area.

*Photos by Patti Phillips

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KN, p. 154 “Murder at the Conference”

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KN, p. 171 “Visit to Antietam”

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