Kerrian’sNotebook

KN, p. 116 “Cemetery at the Golf Course”

 

I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that most of you have never played golf above a cemetery. Maybe you’ve walked past a golf course and seen how peaceful the landscape is, with its beautiful trees and manicured expanse of grass and/or been lucky enough to play a round on it. Maybe you’ve visited old cemeteries and been struck by the size of the property.  But, combining the two uses of grassy knolls is unusual.

Occasionally I play a round at a local public course that sits right next to a very crowded small cemetery. The 7th hole runs along the edge of an older section of grave sites and while separated by a row of tall shrubbery, errant golf balls do fly through the gaps in foliage.

Do lost golf balls plopping on the graves bother the forever-resting occupants? Do golfers leave the wayward balls to the dearly departed, so that no footsteps ever fall on the burial ground?  I know a few guys who see the little white sphere traveling above the headstones and take out another golf ball right away. No attempt to retrieve said lost ball. They take a mulligan for the shot and play on. If a little kid sat behind the bushes and tossed the ball back from the cemetery (while staying hidden) I think the guys might run off the course and never return.  😉

Recently, in Chastain Park (Atlanta, Georgia) it was discovered that a section of the golf course actually sits right above an old potter’s field graveyard.

Watch the video here:

https://www.wsbtv.com/news/local/dozens-graves-discovered-under-chastain-park-golf-/138124636/ 


There is a possibility that wildflowers will be planted on the turf above the graves, allowing the permanent residents some peace and a bit of respect they might not have had in a forgotten potter’s field. There is no plan to disturb the graves.

Just in case you think it’s weird to combine a golf course with a cemetery, however accidental, here’s a bit of insider golfer information:

Many, and I mean MANY, avid golfers would love to have their ashes spread on their favorite golf course, and have even picked out the hole upon which they’d like to spend eternity. Maybe it’s the hole with a great view of the countryside; maybe it’s the place where they first hit a hole-in-one or won a bet. I’ve yet to sink a hole-in-one, so my choice would be somewhere around the green with a great view.

There are so many of these dedicated players all over the world that some large golf courses have regulations specifically dealing with the issue:

–      what day of the week the scattering is permitted

–      fees that may be required in order to gain access

–      who is allowed to do the scattering (a company that specializes in this event or the actual grieving person)

–      where on the course the ashes can ‘rest’ 

Why do the powers-that-be care? Cremated remains are not all like small grains of sand. In the mix are pieces of bone, irregular in shape, unless they’ve been ground after cremation. Soooo…while the golf course managers may permit the scattering, they might have a concern about people dumping an urn full of ashes into a sand trap or on a tee box or (gasp) anywhere on a green.

Do you have a relative that wants to overlook the 8th green in perpetuity? Tell him/her to look into the policies at the chosen resting place. And tell him/her to figure out who is supposed to do the scattering. And what to do if there’s snow on the ground. Uncle Joe or Aunt Mae may have to wait a bit on somebody’s mantle until the spot at the golf course is ready for occupancy.

 

*Photos by Patti Phillips

 

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Kerrian’s Notebook, p. 100 “100 Ways to Die an Unnatural Death”

If there are no paragraph separations in this article, please double-click on the title to create a more readable version.

Shovels anyone?

Kerrian’s Notebook has been around for 100 pages. That deserves some serious noisemakers. Maybe that should be 100 handcuffs rattling or 100 jail cells slamming shut on the bad guys, but whatever noise we use to celebrate? Make it loud. We love a party!

In honor of the 100 pages, here is a list of 100 ways to die by unnatural causes. A death certificate (which lists the cause of death) is issued after any death in the USA, whether natural or otherwise, but if the attending medical practitioner notes anything suspicious, an inquiry may or may not be conducted. Keep in mind that a law enforcement officer will only investigate these deaths if a dastardly deed is suspected. Sometimes, foul play is not always apparent.

Can you spot the ones in the list that indicate murder was afoot?

1)   Drowning in bathtub

2)   Drowning in ocean because of undertow

3)   Drowning in a molasses spill

4)   Suffocation by pillow

5)   Suffocation after entire body has been painted

6)   Hanging by rope

7)   Electrocution for death penalty

8)   Electrocution by hairdryer

9)   Electrocution by electrified fence

10) Electrocution while changing light bulb

11) Hit by lightning

12) Knife in the chest

13) Knife in the leg

14) Axe to the head

15) Bleeding out because of slit wrists

16)   Arson

17)   Gas leak in house

18)   Smoke inhalation

19)   Bullet to the head

20)   Accidental drug overdose

21)   Medical malpractice

22)   Tripped and hit head, cracking skull

23)   Beaten to death

24)   Death by roller coaster

25)   Vending machine fell with your arm in it

26)   Lethal mix of drugs and alcohol

27)   Alcohol poisoning

28)   Radiation poisoning

29)   Arsenic in tea

30)   Baked in an oven

31)   Allergic reaction to shellfish

32)   Allergic reaction to nuts

33)   Attacked by wolves

34)   Bitten by cobra

35)   Clawed by tiger

36)   Mauled by a shark

37)   Attacked by alligator – C.C.J.

38)   Bitten by several fire ants

39)   Bitten by poisonous spiders

40)   Crushed by boa constrictor

41)   Thrown from a horse

  42)   Trampled by elephants

  43)   Gored by a bull

  44)  Bitten by scorpion

  45)  Bitten by mosquito during sleep – allergic reaction to bite – B.R

  46)  Poisoned by contact with weed killers

  47)  Poisoned by ingesting toxic flowers/leaves

Oleander

48)   Crushed by falling tree

49)    Stepped on a land mine

50)    Bomb explosion

51)    Rocket attack

52)    Hit in the head by a pitched ball

53)    Death in a boxing match

54)    Car accident, crushed

55)    Car accident, gas tank explodes

56)    Car accident – car ripped in half by telephone wire – anonymous

57)    Hit by a car while crossing the street

58)    Hit by commuter train

59)    Propane tank on BBQ exploded

60)    Chemical spill

61)    Airplane crash

62)    Airplane mid-air explosion

63)    Parachute didn’t open

64)    Parasail collided with cliff

65)    Choked on food

66)    Choked on bottle cap

67)    Pushed off a cliff

68)    Fell off a roof

69)   Jumped out a window

70)   Froze in a snow bank

71)   Stabbed with icicle

72)   Buried in an avalanche

73)   Fell off a ski lift

74)   Starved to death

75)   Mercury poisoning

76)   Asbestos poisoning

77)   Decapitation

78)   Strangled by another person

79)    Strangled – tie caught in laminating machine while wearing it

80)    Sword fight

81)    Sniper bullet

82)    Stabbed with knitting needle

83)    Hung upside down by feet until dead

84)    Death by dehydration

85)    Sinkhole collapsed with person in it – C.C.J.

86)    Latrine on flatbed of truck fell onto your car – J.P.M.

87)    Death by barbed wire fence – J.P.M.

88)    Cyanide salts in an almond cake – E.M.

89)    Elevator doors malfunctioned and closed on neck

90)    Walked into empty elevator shaft

91)    Jumped off diving board into empty pool

92)    Got stuck in a storm drain while trying to retrieve wallet

93)    Trapped inside a folding bed

94)    Buried under falling bookshelves

95)    Mangled by farming/industrial machinery

96)    Botulism

97)    Shot yourself while cleaning a gun

98)    Crashed into tree while ziplining

   99)   Bungee cord broke while jumping

  100)  Hypothermia 

Sources? I’ve lived longer than I’d like to admit and over 90 of these deaths are ones I’ve heard about in the news or seen in the movies over the years. Some of the Kerrian’s Notebook readers have told me about a few more. Thanks to Barbara Rosario, Christy Crowley Johnson, Jessica Pettengill Messinger, and a person who prefers to remain anonymous, for their ripped-from-the-headlines suggestions. Thanks to mystery writer Edith Maxwell for an intriguing cause of death. I wonder if one of her books will include that COD? Remind me to stay away from any almond dishes at her house.  😉

  

*Photos by Patti Phillips, but nobody died while she was shooting them, nor is the body part in the fourth picture real flesh and blood.

 

 

 

Kerrian’s Notebook, p. 100 “100 Ways to Die an Unnatural Death” Read More »

KN, p. 132 “Fan Favorites – 2014”

I’ve said it before and it’s still true: Kerrian’s Notebook followers are a great bunch. A few of the readers mentioned that some of the posts in 2014 were ‘ripped from the headlines.’ Truth is often stranger than fiction, so while Kerrian is a fictional character, the posts are based in solid fact. As I say in my upcoming novel, “Murder is messy,” and it’s sometimes just plain weird. But, even a Homicide Detective cooks, goes on an occasional trip, and works with other law enforcement officers, so the fan faves were an interesting mix.

Below is the list of the most frequently read new posts on Kerrian’s Notebook in 2014.

Click on each title to take you to that page.  🙂

10.  “How many bodies at the yard sale?” (p.122) – Based on a visit to the 2014 Writers’ Police Academy.

 

9.  “Death by Elevator” (p.105) – Based on my real-life experience in April, 2014.

8.  “50 More Ways to Die an Unnatural Death” (p.111) – The #1 vote getter was so popular that I wrote another list and it made the top 10 as well.  🙂

7.  “Cemetery at the Golf Course” (p.116) –  Yup, this one is true.

 

6.  “Officer needs assistance!” (p.117) Photos taken at the re-enactment of a high-risk stop.

5.  “75 Second Mookies” (p.126) – Created, taste tested and eaten by us.  🙂

4.  “Chocolaty Chocolate Banana Muffins” (p.96) – Created, taste tested and eaten by us  🙂

 

3.  “What does a firefighter wear?” (p.119) Info about uniforms and videos of heat resistance testing. Photos taken during the 2014 Writers’ Police Academy.

 

 

2.  “What does a sheriff do?” (p.115) tells the difference between a Sheriff and a Police Chief, as explained to me by an active duty Chief.

…and the most frequently read new post on www.kerriansnotebook.com in 2014 was:

1. “100 Ways to Die an Unnatural Death” (p.100) Written in honor of the 100th Kerrian’s Notebook post.  There were LOTS of writers that checked out the two unnatural death lists, used some of the ideas in their own writing and even contributed suggestions. Readers sent me some wickedly funny emails and some of those ideas are in #8!

Thanks to all of you, readership almost doubled in 2014. It was a phenomenal year!

Here’s to a great 2015, with fewer real-life homicides, more crimes solved and always, more amazing mysteries/suspense/thrillers to read.

 

*Photos by Patti Phillips

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