crime

KN, p. 188 “Be on the lookout for a chubby guy in a red suit.”

 

Santa for KerrianIMG_6258

The local Police Chief has issued a BOLO.  (That’s “Be On the Look Out.”)

The Chief wants everyone on active duty tonight to watch for a suspicious guy in a red suit that’s been doing a weird kind of home invasion every year all over town. Here’s the description we have so far:

 

The suspect has a chubby build – it’s been reported that his belly shakes a lot, but that hasn’t been confirmed.

He is most likely a senior citizen since he has a white beard and hair.

He has a big laugh that was reported as sounding like “Ho, ho, ho.”

There has been no mention of eye color, but they supposedly twinkle.

Several witnesses have mentioned a broad face, dimples, rosy cheeks, and a cherry colored nose.

 

As for clothes – we had a couple sit with a sketch artist and aside from the face and body type, the guy wears a red suit made of fur, but it’s really dirty – like he rolled in ashes and soot. Six other people corroborated the ID.

 

By the way, if you see anybody smoking a pipe, call it in. That might be our guy.

 

In the past, the suspect has been spotted trying to get into houses and leaving boxes behind, but he’s not breaking windows or doors.  We think he must be in decent shape, because he’s been up on rooftops, and has been seen jumping down chimneys.

 

Be aware that he travels in a small speedy sleigh pulled by 8 tiny reindeer. The reindeer are definite accomplices and work as a team, but if you catch the lead honcho, the rest might follow.

 

One kid caught him inside his own house last year and tried to bribe him with cookies and milk to get him to stay, but it didn’t work. The old guy took the cookie, gave the kid a nod, rose up the chimney and got away in the sleigh.

 

So far, he’s not dangerous, but he has repeatedly violated the littering laws. We also have him for illegal entry, as well as disturbing the peace. We get a load of complaints every December about the clatter up on the roofs. Nobody can sleep. Plus, it’s getting embarrassing that we can’t stop him.

 

Let’s catch this repeat offender once and for all so we can have a good night! 

 

😉

Merry Christmas everyone! May you have a light heart, full of hope and kindness during this special season.

 

*This has been a nod to the famous poem, “A Visit from St. Nicholas,” generally credited to Clement Clarke Moore.

 

*Photo by Patti Phillips

 

 

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KN, p.185 “Is the mouse dead yet?”

 

It’s been a very wet year. We have lived through a hurricane, flooding, high water levels, squishy lawns, damp/wet cellars, and fewer sunny days during the summer than I can ever remember from the past. That leads to outdoor creatures being flooded out of their nooks and crannies below the ground and in the woods. Mice and most snakes and insects don’t like wet feet any more than humans do, so they tend to go to places like houses and barns to dry out.

 

Not long ago, Sheila had a late evening craving for a cup of tea, went to the kitchen and turned on the overhead light.

 

And saw a mouse racing toward the stove along the top of the half-inch wide backsplash.

 

Then screamed that horrible, deep-throated scream that always makes me think that Freddy Krueger is headed our way with a meat cleaver.

 

After the screaming and barking stopped – I’m not admitting to more than one person screaming – we did the snap mousetrap bit, but he was smarter than we were. He knew what we were up to – or else he just didn’t like our goodies. Almond butter? Bird seed? Bits of fruit? Cheese? Nope, not a nibble. Placing poison inside the house was not an option because of Hammett, our wonderful Irish Setter.

 

We finally called the Killer Elite Squad – the exterminators. They came, they saw, and did things under the house. We wanted the furry creature gone or at least chased back to his old home in the woods. The plumber came and plugged up holes under the house. The electrician came and closed up gaps near a socket in the garage. Mission hopefully accomplished.

 

We haven’t seen the invader since and Sheila has finally returned to the kitchen after a week of carefully avoiding that scary room. Hammett has snuffled at the doorway. Big sigh of relief here. I can cook, but only to survive, and take-out dinner from a limited selection of restaurants every night is not as exciting as you might first imagine.

 

Part of the solution under the house involved poison and it made me think about the consequences of it getting into conniving, possibly murderous  hands. Mice and humans are both mammals, after all, and what is lethal for one might also be deadly for the other in the right quantities. Rodent poison is readily available to anyone, sitting on grocery, hardware, and big box store shelves alike. Bonus? There is a perfectly good reason to buy it. Who would suspect anything devious behind the simple purchase of a couple of boxes of the stuff, especially this time of year?

 

Why does it work? The main ingredient, brodifacoum, causes blood to stop coagulating. Brodifacoum causes death in mice by thinning their blood so much that they hemorrhage. Death is not immediate, so they crawl away or return to eat more of the stuff, oblivious to its harmful effect.

 

In theory, mouse poison could kill a person if administered in enough quantity over a period of time, also causing them to hemorrhage. But, in all honesty, the flu-like symptoms of nausea, vomiting, stomach pain, etc. would send you to the doctor long before death could occur, especially if the symptoms worsen. Who would want to deal with that any longer than necessary? Plus, the amount needed to do in a grownup is considerable. And there is an easy antidote – vitamin K – which acts as speedy coagulant.

 

Poisons are used in books and other media to get rid of victims all the time, but is feeding rat poison to the potential victim a method that is used outside the entertainment industry?

 

It turns out that about ten years ago in real-life, a disturbed teenager from the Midwest decided to make his family sick, a little at a time. He mixed the poison in with their food over several weeks until they finally realized that they were getting lots worse, with numerous bouts of painful symptoms. A doctor visit revealed the truth.

 

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/explainer/2005/01/can_mouse_poison_kill_you.html

 

At this point I usually say that no bodies were found while researching and/or writing this post. Maybe not this time, but if you hear screaming in the future, I promise you: There will be. Of the furry kind.

 

*Photo credit? PestWorld.org. Sheila was too busy screaming to take a photo.  😉

The Kerrians are fictional characters, but the mouse debacle really happened.

 

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KN, p. 125 “Elections and Voter Fraud”

 

 

In the USA, 34 states as well as the District of Columbia open the polls for early voting, usually for about ten days before the official Election Day.

http://www.ncsl.org/research/elections-and-campaigns/absentee-and-early-voting.aspx

 

I voted earlier today and had some time afterward to look up some facts about elections and the occasional crime and misdeeds surrounding them.

 

 

Is individual voter fraud committed during modern day elections?

 

The League of Women Voters helps out at the polls in order to verify eligible voter ID, but in some areas where there are lots of voters and not enough help, errors are occasionally made, but this is not fraud. Every once in a while we hear a case about someone stuffing the ballot box or voting in place of a dead person, but that’s incredibly rare. Between 2002 and 2005 there were only 5 multiple voting cases prosecuted, and the DOJ convicted only 86 cases of ‘improper voting’ – nationwide. That’s way less than 1% of the total votes for that period of time, but election officials do make improvements as infractions occur.

 

There are serious penalties involved, because at both the federal and state level, there are big fines ($10,000 for each incident) and jail time (up to ten years in Texas).  Great motivation for folks to stay honest when at the voting booth.

 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/five-myths-about-voter-fraud/2011/10/04/gIQAkjoYTL_story.html

 

 

 

Can elections be ‘rigged’ by a candidate because of the way we vote?

 

Many parts of the country have voting machines that have curtains that close behind the voter as they enter – they are about the size of a department store dressing room and nobody can see what the voter has chosen.

The voter walks into the booth and pulls a three-foot lever to close the curtain. As the voter presses small levers next to the candidate names, votes are noted by the machine. When the curtain is opened by moving the big lever, all the votes are recorded. After the polling place closes, a polling official notes the count (the number of people who have used the machine, not the actual votes) that has been registered on the back of each machine. That final count is verified for each machine by officials from each party. But, machines break down, and the count comes under question as well as the individual votes, not because of fraud, but because of mechanical failure.

 

Other parts of the country use what can only be described as open-sided cardboard boxes that sit on desks. The voter stands in front of the box, records the votes on a paper ballot, and if he/she is tall enough, can see whatever the neighboring voter has chosen on his/her ballot. Not sure who to vote for? Check your neighbor’s answers. Those boxes are merely a nod to privacy during the voting process.

 

Paper ballots are still hand counted in many parts of the country, allowing for human error to come into play. Ballots stick together, counting doesn’t start until late into the evening, vision gets blurry when hundreds or even thousands of ballots need to be checked and rechecked at 3am.

 

In some states, completed ballots are handed directly to polling place officials; in others, a wooden box with a slot in the top is available. Sis voted in a room in Texas that had a big open bucket for the completed ballots because the wooden boxes were full. My North Carolina cousin used a paper ballot that had bar codes at the top. When he was done voting, he slid that paper into an electronic box that grabbed it like an ATM machine and recorded it. He assumes that someone emptied the box periodically, because he said it was only the size of his home printer. Where are those ballots kept during the many days of early voting? They are collected and locked up.

 

While there have been changes made to the ‘booth’ over the years, the scandal involving the style of ballot itself during a Presidential election, resulted in court cases that went on for months. Remember the ‘chad’ recount in Florida in 2000? Bush was elected, but Gore supporters declared foul.

http://cseweb.ucsd.edu/~goguen/courses/275f00/abc-chads.html

 

Throughout most political campaigns during my voting life (more years than I’d like to admit) there has been mud slinging from all sides, some campaigns more vicious than others, some better funded than others, some making up ‘facts’ about the other side.

 

As we get closer to Election Day, some of the nasty rhetoric has been scaled back, but if you believed everything being said, the ballot would look like this:

 

 

Then there are the authentic candidate scandals that rock our sensibilities. Sexual indiscretions, illegal drugs, corruption – the stuff worthy of an expose – all brought to our attention so that we can ‘throw the bums out’ or ‘keep the bums out.’ In these days of instant media coverage it’s hard to imagine why/how a sitting government official or a potential candidate thinks they can get away with some of the stuff we hear about. The thing is, we have to sort through the junk in the ads and figure out what is true and what is merely a vicious smear campaign. Just because the info is on the internet or in a TV ad, doesn’t make it true. Fact checking with three or more non-affiliated sources might help.

 

A recent article in the Washington Post (October, 2016) points out some of the problems with current accusations about voter fraud and election rigging:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/10/29/is-this-proof-of-voter-fraud-or-election-rigging-a-user-guide/

 

 

What does entertainment media have to say?

Hollywood does not always look upon Election Day with favor, perhaps because there are so many colorful candidates, hot button issues, and actual scandals that just beg for a great script. Here are five popular election themed movies:

 

The Candidate (1972) – candidate has no hope of winning, and he’s in the race so that he can speak up about the issues. But, his ideas resonate with the voters and he wins.

http://www.nytimes.com/movie/review?res=9807E6DA1F3EE63BBC4850DFB0668389669EDE

 

 

All the President’s Men (1976)- based on investigative journalism concerning the real-life Nixon/Watergate scandal that eventually caused the downfall of the administration. People went to jail as a result of the illegal activities uncovered.

 

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/all-the-presidents-men-at-40/

 

 

Wag the Dog (1997)- dark comedy involving a Presidential sex scandal about to be exposed the day before election, and a fake war staged to distract the voters.

http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/wag-the-dog-1998

 

 

Swing Vote (2008)-  ‘every vote counts’ taken to its extreme. Some say, conceptually based on the actual Humphrey/Nixon 1968 Presidential campaign, where the voting was so close that one more vote in each precinct nationwide might have changed the result.

http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/swing-vote-2008

 

 

Ides of March (2011)- a look at the inner workings of a state level campaign, and how staffers create the media image of a candidate, sometimes with terrible results. Integrity in politics is explored. http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/theidesofmarch/

 

 

If reading about elections interests you, any bookstore will have several non-fiction titles written by the campaigners themselves, most notably Presidential contenders and winners. At this time of year? They’re probably on display near the front of the store.

 

Whatever your party, whatever your ‘hot button’ issue, whomever your favorite candidate – get out there and vote. If you suspect irregularities at your polling place, report the problem to the entity in your state that oversees elections – either the Secretary of State or the State Board of Elections.

 

If you think that it’s time to ‘throw the bums out,’ then vote. It’s the only way to change the status quo. In my opinion, if you don’t vote, you don’t have a right to complain about the outcome. Thank goodness there are plenty of honest, good-hearted candidates that want to serve. They need your vote to make and/or support good programs for your community.

 

Then, after you vote, thank a veteran. They helped protect our right to continue to do so in this great, free country in which we live.

 

*Ballot design by Patti Phillips. No actual wombats were listed on Kerrian’s ballot today.

*Updated November, 2016

 

 

 

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